Eight years have gone by. When I left Minnesota in 2007, my entire life had fallen apart. I was 20 and broken-hearted, with RSI-ridden wrists, poor social skills, and what I didn't recognize as a case of major depression and anxiety.

Sometime in 2009, I began going to therapy and unraveling my head and the trauma leftover from a narcissistic mother, a violent brother, and my own seclusion throughout middle school. I learned to stop trying to take on the weight of my surrounding world. I learned how to work in data centers. From Virginia, I began to move and move again, moving first to Washington State, traveling to Brazil from there, moving to the San Francisco Bay Area for a few months, living in Portland for years, and now, returning to near an ancestral root in Boston.

Here in the fall light, I've gone to Burning Man three times. I operate a camp that talks about existential risk and tarot. I'm an administrator on Everything2, where most of my writing lives on under the nom de plume of Auspice. For work, I now orchestrate teams across the world in building, operating, and improving the Internet.

In the morning, I open the windows, and the sea breeze comes in, and I can scarcely remember what it was like to be twenty years old and afraid of the entire world.
haruspex: babylon (Default)
( Dec. 12th, 2009 08:41 pm)
Hi guys. I've been instructed by a few folks to post a Christmas list: instead, I'm going to drop a few links here. If you want to get me presents. these are your best bets.

Ecards from this place. I can't go into the store myself (it's on the West Coast), but I love the socks and accessories here for their durability and versatility. They also make some great tights. (I highly recommend this site.)

Also, here is my Amazon wishlist.

If I usually get you presents or I've bothered you recently about your wishlist, please post it in the comments or send me e-mail at thequietone at gmail dot com.

haruspex: babylon (Default)
( Nov. 3rd, 2009 10:12 pm)
Real life and disinterest in most social networking sites have taken their toll; as a consequence, I no longer regularly check this account. Please do not expect me to read posts or make replies with any regularity.

haruspex: babylon (Default)
( Sep. 3rd, 2009 11:41 am)
Ran over by a bus called driving to Grundy, VA and back in two days. Many kitten photos, no checking of social network sites from those days due to work. If I've missed something important, that's probably why. Feel free to update me in the comments if you see fit.
In the name of those we have lost,
In the name of those we've found,
I raise a glass and celebrate,
What has been and what will come.

From fires on the mountains,
To fires in the deep,
The wide and broken heartache,
And the drunken joy of love.
I salute the ones still living,
And those who lost the fight.

To those whose hearts are beating,
To those that still draw breath.
To all of us still fighting,
And all of us in arms.

To teachers, friends, and enemies,
To lovers bright and dark.
From the howling voice of madness,
And the solitary Word,
From the steady voice of Mercy,
And the joy that I still bear.

For the pain and for the love,
For the lost and those forgotten,
The whole and those still broken,
And everything between.

Lift your cup and give them mercy,
Take no comfort in despair.
From the darkest pit of heaven,
To the fires deep in hell,
I urge no easy quarter,
Or surrender to the night.

To those who are inspired,
And those in aching loss,
Stand tall and know this dictum:
No surrender, hold the line!
haruspex: babylon (lady of babylon)
( Apr. 22nd, 2009 09:35 am)
Back from Washington State. Off to work shortly.

Few high points while my hair dries.

Hit Seattle last Wednesday and hung out with Izali for the evening and the next day, getting my hair dyed (dark blue streaks) and grabbing dinner with a coworker. Ended up having to call my bank and get the anti-fraud hold canceled on my card; broke in my Wesco's after two years.

Friday, I caught Amtrak south to Portland, then east to Pasco, arriving in the Tri Cities around ten in the evening. The next two days were spent going wine tasting, playing Katamari, shooting, kayaking, and eating very hot curry, among other things.

After spending ten hours on Amtrak on Friday, I decided to rent a car, and drove back to Seattle on Monday. This turned out to be a lot more scenic; I got back to Seattle mid-afternoon, dropped the car at the airport, then headed back to Izali's to help make banana bread and to play more Katamari.

Spent part of yesterday on a shopping trip through downtown Seattle with Izali, got gifts, books, other stuff. Ate pate. Very tasty.

Ended up trading my Swiss Army suitcase for a massive carpetbag to fit everything.

Many thanks to Izali, Kuzman, and Jovan for playing host to me; had a great time.
red dust and the disintegrating woman.
outbound, freefall, three AM.
black dust woman, copper bracelets with
fiber scars, sang sweet. song of battle,
rush of adrenaline. just a bit more, whisper
though the wire, this
mechanical love and the fire to catch.

well, I'm here and gone again, she said,
the wings of times gone past, the
turning wheel. everything new is old
again, and I saw you - the window -
at three AM.

live free or die, or lost and found, run
westbound, northbound, 95, engine howling
long as she can make it. just a bit more
dust in the making, just set it on fire,
watch it burn.

and I said: I can be free, or as free as
I can make it. metal sweet and fire at will.
gimme the dust and the copper and fiber, gimme
salvation and her face - civilization, a
bright and feral thing.
haruspex: babylon (Default)
( Mar. 3rd, 2009 10:40 pm)
Busy in ten thousand ways, working in about a dozen more, lots going on at the moment. If I'm not around lately, that's why.

And the beat goes on.
haruspex: babylon (Default)
( Feb. 24th, 2009 10:24 am)
Things I dearly want to see: a chain of strip clubs named 'The TTY Bar'.
Particularly interesting as I spent a good part of Tuesday afternoon discussing the psychology behind IRE players and the guild structures with Sal. I'm cutting back on my Lusternia habit and working more on Lament, but I find this really interesting from both a player and creator standpoint. The Daedalus Project.

Other things of note: I maintain an interest in EVE, but don't play it. Interesting social exploit this week via [livejournal.com profile] wombat_socho's corp, Goonswarm, ended up with Band of Brothers, their major enemy, and the largest corporation in the game, being taken over and disbanded. The part that I found interesting about it was that their mole was converted through relatively straightforwards social engineering.

The reason this is interesting is that the entire game has been impacted. EVE is known as a game of spreadsheets to some folks, and this isn't entirely inaccurate. A lot of the game revolves around economic shenanigans and keeping ingame corporations stable. The corporations take over areas of space, which in turn have resources, or easy trade routes via jump gates, and depending on their attitudes, corporations are either friendly to traders, friendly only to their allies, or outright griefers, as Goonswarm tends to be. Also of note: the most successful leaders of the corporations, at least as far as I can see through Dad's view of the game, are the ones who are lawyers, accountants, or students in related disciplines. This echoes Lusternia, where the most successful guild and city leaders are CPAs, have MBAs, or other relatively concrete achievements in these fields. One of my guild leaders and friends, for example, is a kindergarten teacher, and has had really good success as both a mentor figure and a guild leader. Another good example would be a former prominent (and very successful) city leader who is much older and has an MBA.

I'm stumbling across more and more people who are using MUDs and MMORPGs for training in dealing with people one on one, dealing with people in aggregate, and learning how to handle departmental or job-related politics. I wouldn't say it's a surprise, exactly, after watching YOG's politics and the people who tended to end up on top, but it is food for thought.
haruspex: babylon (Three of Wands)
( Jan. 28th, 2009 07:34 am)
Sisters of Mercy - Train
They wrote the laws by firelight,
(Or flickering lightbulb, and not of old),
Trite verse to guide the covens on.
(They wrote the laws by candlelight,
Scented, patchouli, five a dozen.)

First to know (and oh, I can know),
Second to will (and oh, I will),
And third to dare (and so I shall),
The last - be silent (and I will not).

You said be silent, I said - alright.
(Turn over, dear, snuff the candle out)
You said - don't be willful - and I was not.
(Move over, dear, move over, make room)
You said be bold - but not too bold.
(Lock the door, turn the rusty bolt)
And you said, be silent, and I said "fuck you, I won't."
[Error: unknown template qotd]

sun sets, winter comes
trees rattle like icy swords
dead things in dead land

Happy Solstice.
haruspex: babylon (Default)
( Dec. 11th, 2008 10:13 am)
[livejournal.com profile] wombat_socho is in the hospital. Fairfax INOVA. Admitted for IV antibiotics, he doesn't know yet how long he'll be in.

Going to visit him this evening.
haruspex: babylon (Default)
( Dec. 9th, 2008 08:33 am)
Very not social in the last week or so. If that's why nobody's seen or heard from me, that's why. Decompressing in a large way before I start my set of night shifts.


haruspex: babylon (Default)


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